Showing posts with label Handling Disappointments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Handling Disappointments. Show all posts

Friday, February 10, 2012

Responding to Disappointment

Learn How to Respond to Disappointment as a Christian 

by Jack Zavada

The Christian life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride when strong hope and faith collide with an unexpected reality. When our prayers aren't answered as we desired and our dreams become shattered, disappointment is the natural result. Jack Zavada examines "The Christian Response to Disappointment" and offers practical advice for turning disappointment in a positive direction, moving you closer to God.

 

The Christian Response to Disappointment

If you're a Christian, you're well-acquainted with disappointment. All of us, whether new Christians or lifelong believers, battle feelings of disappointment when life goes wrong. Deep down, we think that following Christ should give us special immunity against trouble. We're like Peter, who tried to remind Jesus, "We have left everything to follow you." (Mark 10:28).

Maybe we haven't left everything, but we have made some painful sacrifices. Doesn't that count for something? Shouldn't that give us a free pass when it comes to disappointment? You already know the answer to that. As we’re each struggling with our own private setbacks, godless people seem to be thriving. We wonder why they’re doing so well and we’re not. We fight our way through loss and disappointment and wonder what’s going on.

 

Asking the Right Question

After many years of hurts and frustration, I finally realized that the question I should ask God isn't "Why, Lord?" but rather, "What now, Lord?"
Asking “What now, Lord?” instead of “Why, Lord?” is a hard lesson to learn. It's hard to ask the right question when you’re feeling disappointed. It's hard to ask when your heart is breaking. It's hard to ask “What now?” when your dreams have been shattered.

But your life will begin to change when you start asking God, "What would you have me do now, Lord?" Oh sure, you’ll still feel angry or disheartened by disappointments, but you’ll also discover that God is eager to show you what he wants you to do next. Not only that, but he’ll equip you with everything you need to do it.

 

Where to Take Your Heartaches

In the face of trouble, our natural tendency is not to ask the right question. Our natural tendency is to complain. Unfortunately, griping to other people rarely helps solve our problems. Instead, it tends to drive people away. Nobody wants to hang around a person who has a self-pitying, pessimistic outlook on life.

But we can't just let it go. We need to pour our heart out to someone. Disappointment is too heavy a burden to bear. If we let disappointments pile up, they lead to discouragement. Too much discouragement leads to despair. God doesn’t want that for us. In his grace, God asks us to take our heartaches to him.

If another Christian tells you that it's wrong to gripe to God, just send that person to the Psalms. Many of them, like Psalms 31, 102 and 109, are poetic accounts of hurts and grievances. God listens. He'd rather have us empty our heart to him than keep that bitterness inside. He is not offended by our discontent.

Complaining to God is wise because he's capable of doing something about it, while our friends and relations may not be. God has the power to change us, our situation, or both. He knows all the facts and he knows the future. He knows exactly what needs to be done.

 

The Answer to 'What Now?'

When we pour out our hurt to God and find the courage to ask him, "What do you want me to do now, Lord?," we can expect him to answer. He will communicate through another person, our circumstances, instructions from him (very rarely), or through his Word, the Bible. The Bible is such an important guidebook that we should immerse ourselves in it regularly. It's call the Living Word of God because its truths are constant yet they apply to our changing situations. You can read the same passage at different times in your life and get a different answer--a relevant answer--from it every time. That is God speaking through his Word.

Seeking God's answer to "What now?" helps us grow in faith. Through experience, we learn that God is trustworthy. He can take our disappointments and work them for our good. When that happens, we come to the staggering conclusion that the all-powerful God of the universe is on our side.

No matter how painful your disappointment may be, God's answer to your question of "What now, Lord?" always begins with this simple command: "Trust me. Trust me."

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source: About.Com Christianity
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Dealing with Disappointment


Read: HABAKKUK 3: 17-19

Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord GOD is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places

After preaching a sermon on disappointment, several men and women approached me with the same reaction: "I desperately needed to hear those words." Countless people feel defeated and let down by disappointing situations. But our response can make all the difference. Frustrations can be either an opportunity for a spiritual growth or a destructive blow.

A right response to disappointment begins with resisting the natural tendency toward bitterness. If someone else was involved in the situation, don't be quick to judge his or her conduct.  We can't fully understand what is going on in others' lives or what motivates them to act as they do. Our second step should be to ask the Lord, "How am I to respond?" God can guide us to a wise and righteous reaction because He has all the facts.

Third, follow His direction, even if it isn't what you want to do. Oftentimes the Lord's way contracts our own desires and the advice of friends. However, His plan is the one that will bring about growth and result in oru greatest good. And finally, keep your focus on God and His higher purpose. People are prone to dwell on their hurts and th harm that comes to them, which what makes disappointment so destructive.

There is only one healthy method for dealing with letdown - pursue the Lord's way and His will. Though human plans can be derailed, nothing alters God's purpose. No matter how deep your hurt goes, He will shepherd you through setbacks and sorrows while growing your faith.

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from Intouch Magazine, June 2011 issue


Friday, January 20, 2012

Joyce Meyer on Handling Disappointments


Disappointment occurs when our plans are thwarted by something we had no control over. We can be disappointed by our own failures, unpleasant circumstances, people who let us down, or even with God when He doesn't do something we've been believing would happen. But not everyone is guaranteed to get everything they want all the time, so we need to learn how to deal properly with disappointment.

When we are disappointed, our emotions initially sink. We feel down, negative, discouraged, depressed, maybe even angry. The next time you are disappointed, pay attention to the activity of your emotions; instead of letting them take the lead, make the decision to manage them. There is nothing unusual or wrong about initial feelings of disappointment, but it is what we do from that point forward that makes all the difference in the world.

Trusting that God has a good plan for us is the key to preventing disappointment from turning into despair. Proverbs 16:9 says A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps amd makes them sure.

It is impossible to be miffed at God when you really believe He has your best interest in mind and is directing your every step. After all, He is the only one who can help you and truly comfort you; therefore, it is much better to run to Him in your pain than away from Him.

Ask Yourself...

How do I react when I get disappointed?


Do I believe God has ordered my steps?


Am I acting on the Word of God or merely reacting emotionally to the situation?

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excerpt from 'God's Word vs. Your Feeling',  A Joyce Meyer Ministries (JMM) Magazine (Enjoying Everyday Life) Sept / Oct. 2011 issue